


HSAU Valentine's Day Special

by EffortlesslyOpulent, sam_kom_trashkru



Series: catch me [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: College AU, Crack, F/F, Fluff, HSAU, Smut, Strap-Ons, Valentine's Day, all the nasty things, dirty dice, honestly DON'T read this if all you're looking for is smut tbh, it's more crack than smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:24:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9726803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EffortlesslyOpulent/pseuds/EffortlesslyOpulent, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_kom_trashkru/pseuds/sam_kom_trashkru
Summary: In a very cracky, humorous take on Valentine's Day, nothing goes right for poor Clarke and Lexa.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I feel sorry if you're reading this for your daily fix of smut lmao. This is probably the last holiday special before we release the sequel!

 

Valentine’s Day Special:

_Clarke and Lexa do valentine’s day, their first year in college. It goes about as well as expected._

* * *

 

 

It was Clarke and Lexa’s first valentine’s day away from their families (read: parental supervision), so naturally, it was supposed to defy all expectations and go down in history as the greatest, most romantic day ever.

Both girls had casually discussed the basis of what they wanted to do. They both agreed on a romantic dinner at home, and that they wouldn’t be going out. That was it,those were the only rules. Everything else was a secret, held by each of the girls as they planned, shopped, and prepared to woo each other.

Unfortunately, the holiday was landing on a school day, and while Lexa’s coach had mysteriously gotten a fever, they still had school to worry about it.

The morning began, for Lexa, at six in the morning, her body used to waking her up around that time every day. She made it her routine to wake up, sneak out of bed for a run, and then come back an hour later to wake her love for school.

Except, this time, she’d planned on stopping at the farmer's’ market for a fresh breakfast and of course, some roses for Clarke. She smirked to herself as she thought of Clarke’s awed smile as she accepted the flowers.

_Lexa was getting laid tonight._

However, Lexa’s smug smile was wiped clean off her face when she slipped out of bed, turning to face Clarke’s sleeping figure as she stretched.

_Clarke was gone._

Panic immediately set in. Clarke was _never_ up early. What had happened? The bathroom was empty. Had she been kidnapped? Had she left in the night?

Lexa took a breath, readying herself to bolt out the door in search of her, when she felt two arms slip around her waist, lips pressing against her neck.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Her favorite voice in the world rasped.

Lexa immediately relaxed, sinking back into the arms around her, until she realized the hand around her was holding a bouquet of wildflowers, wrapped in brown paper. They were dazzling: an assortment of every color Lexa could imagine.

_Clarke woke up early to get her favorite flowers._

Lexa’s heart was hammering in her chest like a jackhammer, and she was blushing like a pathetic schoolgirl.

Clarke gave her a squeeze, lips brushing her ear as she murmured, “Happy Valentine’s Day. I don’t care if it’s a total commercial holiday. You deserve to be celebrated more often.”

Lexa melted, already feeling emotional. Tears welled in her eyes, and Lexa wanted to berate herself for crying so damn early into the day.

Clarke turned, moving to hand Lexa the flowers, but paused when she saw the tears. “Aww.” She chuckled, setting the flowers on the bed to cup Lexa’s cheeks. Lexa took in Clarke’s outfit, appreciating how early she got ready just to give her a gift. Her vision blurred with the unshed tears and she wore a shy smile. “It the mighty Commander touched?” She teased lightly. Clarke adored how soft and sentimental Lexa really was, underneath her arrogant, cocky, previously-playboy facade. It was adorable, to her.

“Thank you.” Lexa whispered, leaning into Clarke’s palm against her cheek.

Clarke laughed. “Baby, I’m just getting started.” She leaned forward, drawing Lexa’s lips into a soft kiss. Lexa’s lips were one of her sexiest features, in Clarke’s humble opinion. It made kissing her _that_ much sweeter, and more difficult to let go.

“Ugh, I cannot believe we have school today.” Clarke groaned, pausing to breathe against Lexa’s lips.

Lexa, on the other hand, was chuckling softly, arms slipping around Clarke’s waist, hugging her tight to her chest.

“What’s so funny?” Clarke asked with a smile.

“I was so proud.” Lexa admitted sheepishly. “I was going to wake up to get you flowers and breakfast.”

Clarke smirked. “Breakfast is in the kitchen, tiger.”

Lexa groaned. “I love you.”

“Really?” Clarke cocked a brow. “Doesn’t sound like it- OH! LEXA!” She shrieked as Lexa softly pushed her back onto the bed, climbing over her predatorily, though teasing in nature.

“I love these.” Lexa murmured as she softly set the flowers on the nightstand, but not before taking a deep whiff, sighing in happiness.

“You are so beautiful.” Clarke whispered, softly pulling Lexa back to her. “You’re so adorable and sweet, and if flowers make you smile like this, I don’t think I’ll sleep in another morning ever again.”

Lexa blushed fiercely, smiling shyly. “It’s not the flowers that make me smile, Clarke.”

“Oh?” Clarke grinned, pulling Lexa on top of her. “Must be me, then.”

“Must be.” Lexa murmured, nuzzling Clarke’s neck, cuddling into her warmth.

“It’s funny. I _hated_ this holiday until last year.” Clarke murmured, tracing patterns on Lexa’s arm, fingertips grazing the edges of her tattoo.

“I never cared for it either.” Lexa replied. “Why’d you hate it?”

“I felt...lame.” Clarke admitted with a laugh. “My mom had my dad...well, until she didn’t.” Clarke sighed, and Lexa kissed her cheek. “And Octavia had Lincoln, Raven had Bellamy, hell, Monty had Jasper...I was alone. I hated going around and seeing couples all gross and overly affectionate in public. I couldn’t even go on social media.” Clarke grumbled.

Lexa was chuckling, hugging Clarke just a bit closer. “Well, I promise we don’t ever have to be that couple.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. “What? Hell yes we are. I waited fair and square. You better be ready for me to tug you down and plant one on you whenever I feel like it! Oh, and groping. I need to grope, a little.”

Lexa smirked. “So basically like every other day?”

“Shut up.” Clarke grumbled. “I bet you can’t relate to anything I just said, being a sexy womanizer since you were out the womb.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “I haven’t had many serious girlfriends, Clarke. None even compare to what I have with you.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “...Not even Costia? I bet you had a very sexual valentine’s day.”

Lexa snorted. “We got together in May and we broke up in, what, October?”

Clarke was smug. “All for _me.”_ she drawled, and Lexa was glad to support her growing confidence.

“Yes. She said she could tell I was in love with someone else.”

Clarke cocked a brow. “Love? That early? That’s gay, Woods.”

“Comes with the territory.” Lexa replied smoothly. “Now, a shower together?” She drawled enticingly.

“Nope.” Clarke leapt off the bed with a smug grin, watching Lexa’s pout. “Saving that for tonight. You can take a regular old shower without me.”

“But _Clarke.”_ Lexa whined needily. “It’s _Valentine’s day._ Let me romance you.”

Clarke grinned. “You can do that outside of the shower. I’ll see you for breakfast, beautiful.” And with that, she was out of the bedroom.

Lexa smiled, throwing her head into her pillow and trying not to laugh out loud with the joy that seemed to be spilling over her features.

 

* * *

The first class was the best, mostly because Clarke and Lexa had it together. Lexa was endlessly amused by Clarke’s newfound excitement to finally properly celebrate the holiday, as she put it. (Even though they’d been together a year prior, they’d been so caught up in their puppy love that Clarke hadn’t a moment to revel in her pettiness.)

Lexa and Clarke walked to class hand in hand, (Clarke’s hand occasionally straying to Lexa’s back jean pocket, finding a snug home there), finding many eyes upon them. In their lecture class, most of the students who came were unattentive, asleep, making out, or texting. Clarke busied herself with playing with Lexa’s hair, curling the ringlets around her finger, occasionally leaning forward to press a kiss to her jaw.

Clarke noticed the professor moving to gather his things and smiled to herself.

“You ready for our date night tonight?” Lexa murmured, lips grazing her ear. “Dinner, I convinced a few teammates to pick up some champagne, and then…”

“Then we... _experiment.”_ Clarke whispered back, leaning forward to capture Lexa’s lips in a kiss, as if trying to convey her lust without words. (It was working).

“Alright, I’ll see you at five.” Lexa murmured, rising with the other students, helping Clarke up. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

 

Clarke had gotten home just an hour earlier, sneaking away from her final art class of the day to finish making the chocolate covered strawberries she knew Lexa had a weakness for.

She took it upon herself to light a few candles in the apartment, to create more of a romantic effect, now that the sun was setting.

Truth be told, Clarke was _giddy._

She absolutely loved the domesticity of it all. She was living with her girlfriend, and they were going to spend Valentine’s day together, doing all sorts of romantic (and naughty) things.

It was kind of a 180 from where she was just a little over a year prior.

Life was sweet with Lexa in it.

As she was changing in the bedroom, knowing full well that Lexa had been sneaky and packed her dress into her bag to change and clean up before coming home, Clarke slipped into the lingerie she’d bought just for the occasion, slipping into the dress with the plunging neckline over it.

She grinned to herself when she heard the door to the apartment unlocking.

“Honey, I’m home.” Lexa called out teasingly, and her smile was just evident in her tone.

Clarke, ever the seductress, leaned against the wall, putting herself on display for Lexa’s opinion. And _god,_ she wasn’t disappointed.

At the same time that Lexa’s jaw dropped, taking in Clarke’s ensemble, Clarke’s did the same when she took in Lexa’s appearance as a leggy goddess, such a divine juxtaposition from her usual bulky football attire.

As much as Clarke wanted to keep up the sexy facade, she was actually genuinely excited just to see Lexa, so she dropped the act and darted over to Lexa’s open arms, the two of them grinning like absolute idiots.

“You look breathtaking, Clarke.” Lexa murmured reverently, hands moving to cup her cheeks.

“Me? Look at you. You’re stunning.” Clarke fired back, hands trailing down Lexa’s hips, pulling her flush against her body. “I’m going to ravish you tonight.” Clarke declared, lips pressing against Lexa’s.

“Is that so?” Lexa gave her hips a playful sway, and Clarke was in awe. She took a moment to appreciate her beauty; Lexa was beyond Clarke’s understanding, in some ways. She had the effortless ability to maintain a sort of alpha, dominant, (and Clarke _hated_ to use the word masculine, because surely these traits weren’t exclusive to masculinity) personality, often as protective, fierce and strong as any of her male-counterparts on the field. But Lexa had a delicate duality to her, a soft and gentle, beautiful and feminine air to her.

Clarke was absolutely entranced by Lexa. She was a goddess. And shockingly, she was _hers._

“Clarke?” Lexa prodded softly.

“Hmm?” Clarke blinked suddenly, as if she’d been sleeping a second ago.

“I said what’s for dinner?” Lexa replied gently. “Are you alright?”

“I’m in love.” Clarke groaned apologetically, and Lexa blushed, their noses brushing ever so softly.

It was strange, to her, that they could have the same sizzling chemistry that they did nearly a year prior, when they were vying for each other’s attentions. Countless times, Lexa had been told “ _It’ll fade”_ and _“The honeymoon period will end, and then you’ll see the flame dim”._ But so far, Lexa only seemed to be falling deeper. Living with Clarke intensified her love for her. Being Clarke’s best friend only entwined their lives more. Lexa couldn’t understand why the norm was to simply fall out of love with the years. She’d been told again and again that love was an initial spark, that faded over time, and turned into mere partnership.

She scoffed at the idea. Her love for Clarke was entirely consuming, and she didn’t think she could rid herself of it, even if Clarke shattered her heart into a thousand pieces (though Lexa knew she never would).

“Me too.” Lexa offered with a smirk, leaning in to steal a quick kiss before Clarke could deepen it and distract her once more. “I asked you what’s for dinner, though.”

“Oh, right.” Clarke nodded apologetically. “Uh, scallops and salad. It’s from the recipe your mom sent us. She claimed it was, and I quote, _absolutely to die for.”_

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Ugh, she sounds so pretentious.”

Clarke smirked. “You sound just like her. Hate to break it to you.”

Lexa cocked a brow. “What? Really?”

Clarke laughed. “Oh yeah. You’re a total spoiled million dollar baby.” Clarke informed her, pinching her cheek teasingly for added effect. “And if you don’t remember, you were totally arrogant about it in high school. I guess living with me has turned you into a plebeian.”

“Oh, Clarke. You’re not a plebeian.” Lexa smirked. “You’re a step up. Like, a merchant or an artisan. Maybe...a farmer? Wait, are those above peasants? I’m getting my hierarchies all mixed up.”

Clarke gaped, smacking Lexa’s arm, her whole body shaking with laughter. “Um, excuse me, _your highness,_ my mom is a surgeon and my dad was an engineer-”

Lexa grinned, stealing another kiss. “I know.” She whispered.

“Um.” Clarke licked her lips, eyes boring into Lexa’s forest green. “What were we talking about again?”

“Scallops.” Lexa supplied. “Specifically, _to-die-for_ scallops that will result in the most romantic dinner of our lives. But, wait, I thought oysters were the aphrodisiac?”

“You already know what I can do with my tongue.” Clarke smirked.

“How romantic.” Lexa rolled her eyes and Clarke only smiled wider. “You know, my mother probably had that recipe made by Roma or some Michelin rated chef.”

Clarke snorted. “Baby, they’re scallops. How hard can they be?”

* * *

 

They were making out against the counter when it happened. The two had been so caught up in one another that it simply escalated beyond their control. And, honestly, if Clarke _and_ Lexa _both_ hadn’t been moaning so loudly, they probably would have heard the telltale sizzling that meant the scallops needed immediate attention. Not to mention the champagne butter sauce was already heated far beyond its limit, spilling over the curved lip of the pot and onto the flame beneath.

But no, Clarke was busy feeling up her girlfriend’s delectable thighs and Lexa had her hands somewhere around Clarke’s cleavage, groping beyond her wildest desires. The two were pressed against the counter, in a heavy makeout session, filled with growls and moans and whimpers and the occasional giggle.

So, really, it was the black smoke that seeped into the air around them that alerted them that the scallops were done.

Well, beyond done.

They were black.

And crispy.

And stuck to the pan.

Clarke supposed Ana was right. They _were_ to die for.

In the sense that, if you ate one, you’d probably have an early visit to your grave.

There was a sense of joined panic when the smoke hit the air. Clarke had been suckling on Lexa’s plump bottom lip, when she felt the flame between them grow. It was almost as if she could smell it.

And then Lexa pulled away, just enough to mutter, “Clarke. Burning.”

“Me too. Should we skip dinner?” Clarke was painfully unaware that Lexa was _not_ referring to her _nether regions_.

“....It looks like we might have to.” Lexa’s eyes widened as she took in the dish that was now on fire, somewhat aware that f _lambe_ wasn’t part of the cooking process.

“Oh...fuck.” Clarke blinked as she peeled herself off Lexa, darting to grab a dish towel, wetting it under the sink and wringing it out before tossing it over the pan, stifling the flame, while Lexa moved to open all the windows, coughing as she did so.

Clarke winced at the remains of the food they were supposed to eat, rather romantically.

With a resigned sigh, she turned to Lexa, muttering, “Pizza?”

* * *

 

“We suck.” Clarke moped as they ate their delivered pizza on the step outside their apartment door, allowing it to air out. They looked a bit disheveled from their previous activities.

“We do.” Lexa groaned, biting into a slice with a whimper.

God, she missed carbs.

“Normally I’m turned on by you eating junk food.” Clarke sighed, and Lexa looked somewhat surprised, “But I’m too depressed.”

“Clarke, it’s fine. We’re college students. We have a right to mess up everything.” Lexa assured. “Plus, I’ll have mom and dad send over one of their oh so beloved chefs next week, and I promise you will taste the sweet taste of victory.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “It’s not about the food, _Alexandria.”_

Lexa paused. “...It’s not?”

“It’s about the romance.” Clarke groaned.

“Well, it was pretty romantic up until we nearly became arsonists.” Lexa noted amusedly.

“ _Lex.”_ Clarke whined. “Come on, admit it. We’ve killed the mood.”

Lexa  scoffed. “I don’t know about you, but I’m always in the mood.” She halted her teasing, however, when she noticed Clarke’s look of genuine disappointment. “Hey, Clarke.” She murmured, calling her girlfriend’s attention back up to her eyes. It wasn’t like Clarke to be upset, or mopey. In fact, it was like they switched places- Lexa got worked up over imperfections, and Clarke was normally easy-going and playful.

Then, Lexa remembered Clarke’s speech earlier about how she’d always felt left out and lame on the particular holiday, and while Lexa had her fair share of time being sexy and romancing various girls, Clarke did not.

“Clarke, it’s barely seven.” Lexa informed her encouragingly. “Whatever you had planned, we’ll do. And if _that_ goes wrong, too? Then we’ll skip school tomorrow and try again, okay?”

Clarke felt a shy smile forming on her lips. Lexa’s ability to read her like a book was fascinating. “Alright.” She nodded, leaning forward to press a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “You think the apartment is safe now?”

Lexa nodded, scooping up the pizza box.

Clarke led the way back inside, taking a cautionary sniff.

Luckily, the thousands of candles Lexa made a habit of purchasing were finally coming to good use. It smelled amazing.

“So.” Lexa drawled as she set the pizza box down on the counter. “What’s the first thing on your kinky to-do list?”

Clarke quirked a brow. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Lexa shrugged playfully.

“Well…” Clarke began somewhat shyly. She moved over to the closet, reaching into the shopping bag she’d stored after her sneaky little trip out with Octavia last weekend. She pulled out the first item. “Blindfolds.”

Lexa looked entertained. “Oh? Who’s wearing it?”

“...There are two.” Clarke informed her after a thoughtful moment. “So… both of us?”

Lexa paused. “I don’t think that’s right. Do they come with instructions?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “No, Lexa, the blindfold set doesn’t come with instructions- Oh. Wow, it actually comes with a little suggestion manual.”

Lexa smirked. “Read it out loud?”

Clarke opened the booklet, and spoke in her most overly husky voice, putting a grin on her girlfriend’s face.

“ _Blindfolds are the ultimate test of trust, and what’s sexier than putting your trust in your partner? These double blindfolds are the ultimate test- see if you can navigate your way into the bedroom, and then pleasure each other without ever taking them off. See how well you know one another.”_

Lexa looked quizzical. “...So we’re just having blind sex?”

Clarke snorted. “Don’t say it like that. We’re... _trusting_ each other.”

Lexa smirked. “Clarke Griffin, I’m going to _trust_ you so hard.”

Clarke couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she cupped Lexa’s cheeks, eyes studying her face intensely.

“What is it?” Lexa whispered.

“Nothing. I just love your face.” Clarke replied. “I want to remember it while we do this.”

Lexa blushed furiously, and Clarke smirked. “Cutie.” She pinched her cheek.

Lexa snorted. “We’ll see who’s cute after this.” She moved to apply her blindfold.

Clarke did the same, tying it tightly.

“Okay so...Do we just…” Lexa fumbled for words.

“Let’s just try to get to the bedroom, okay?” Clarke offered, lacing her hand with Lexa’s, with great effort.

“Okay, let’s move.”

At that instant, Clarke moved left, while Lexa moved right, yanked back together by their joined hands.

“Lex, it’s this way.”

“What? No, Clarke, this way.”

“Lexa, I was facing the kitchen.”

“No, I was.”

“This is stupid.” Clarke mumbled.

“Alright.” Lexa acquiesced, bringing Clarke’s knuckles up to her lips. “Whatever you say.” She murmured as she pressed kisses to each one.

Clarke’s insides melted. There was something utterly romantic about not knowing what Lexa was going to do, but knowing it was going to be soft and sexy anyway. Maybe these weren’t such a terrible idea?

Clarke finished swooning and slowly began moving, feeling Lexa’s arm snake around her.

“Lexa!” Clarke yelped when she felt Lexa drop a kiss to her shoulder. “How’d you know where my shoulder was?”

“That was your shoulder?” Lexa whined. “I was going for your neck.”

“Don’t distract me.” Clarke warned. “Or else I’m going to-” Clarke hadn’t realized she was so close to the leg of a chair, and as a result, went falling forward, on a crash course to the floor, if not for Lexa’s strong arm wound around her, keeping her steady.

“I’ll always catch you when you fa-Ow, fuck!” Lexa hissed as the corner end of their table nicked her hipbone.

“Lex, are you okay?” Clarke paused.

“....Excellent.” Lexa gritted out.

“Okay, we’re in the hallway.” Clarke announced, feeling the walls tighten on either side of her. “So, straight and then a right at the end.”

“Whoever made this game should expect an angry letter from the family lawyer.” Lexa grumbled petulantly, following Clarke.

“Okay.” Clarke huffed. “The bed is...here. So just...Wait, should we undress, first?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, my dress is easy.” Clarke murmured as she detached from Lexa momentarily to slip off her dress, feeling it fall to her feet. “Now, what about yours?”

“...There’s a zipper on the back.” Lexa replied, hating herself for choosing that particular dress.

“Okay. No problem.” Clarke wanted to slap herself for ever thinking not seeing Lexa would be a fun idea. “Let me just pull-”

“Oh! Um, Clarke! That’s my hair.”

“Sorry baby.” Clarke winced.

“...You’re still pulling it.”

“Fuck.” Clarke hissed, finally managing to pull the zipper down. “Okay, and now your...bra.” Clarke’s mouth watered when she felt no sort of fabric, but instead, the soft slope of Lexa’s breasts.

“...It was built into the dress.” Lexa gasped as Clarke pinched playfully. “Not fair.” She groaned. “Let me take off your underwear, too.”

Clarke bit her lip, remembering exactly what she’d chosen to wear. “...Good luck.”

“What? Why?” Lexa turned to face her, reaching until her hands were on Clarke’s sides. She gasped when she felt the lace. Trailing her fingers down, she made Clarke wince with pleasure as she grazed her panty area. “ _Clarke.”_ Lexa’s voice was choked. “You...you’re wearing... _lingerie?”_

Clarke was smirking, proud to have her effect on Lexa. “...I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m wearing a garter belt.”

Lexa let out an honest to god moan at the words alone. “Fuck.” She hissed, trying to regain her self control. “Really?”

Clarke groaned. “I had planned on you...seeing it.”

Lexa bit her lip. “I can...feel it?”

“Okay.”

“First let me just...Lay back on the bed.” Lexa tried to insert some dominance into her voice, to regain their old bedroom swagger, but it was a bit hard to do with no sense of where either girl was.

“Okay.” Clarke exhaled shakily, falling back onto the mattress, gripping the sheets in anticipation.

“Okay, don’t move, I’m hovering.” Lexa warned softly, climbing over wherever she felt a dip in the bed.

“Start with my bra.” Clarke murmured, lust dripping from her tone. “It’s thin lace, it’s see through.”

Lexa’s mouth watered. “Too bad I can’t see.” She mumbled, hands making contact with what she believed to be Clarke’s sides.

“Feel me up, baby.” Clarke enticed her with a whisper, and Lexa groaned, hands sliding up and resting on the swell of Clarke’s breasts.

“Fuck, Clarke.” Lexa mumbled, squeezing. _Wait, what?_ “Clarke. I like to think I know your breasts…..Why are they so….firm?”

“Those are my kneecaps, Commander.” Clarke snorted. “You must be backwards.”

Lexa was glad Clarke couldn’t see how beet red she’d turned. “Right. I was kidding. But, in that case…” She dove down, feeling the familiar parting of Clarke’s thighs. This place, she knew.

“Baby.” Clarke whimpered when Lexa placed a suckling kiss on the inside of her thigh. Lexa moved to lick the flat front of her lacy panties, knowing the sensation of her tongue over the fabric would drive Clarke crazy.

What Lexa _didn’t_ count on was Clarke enjoying the sensation so much that she bucked her hips up, smashing Lexa’s chin and sending Clarke’s head into the headboard, both girls writhing and groaning in pain.

“Shit.” Lexa hissed, flexing her jaw, slipping her blindfold off.

Clarke had done the same, rubbing her head. At the same time the two locked eyes, they leapt to each other, cradling the other’s face. “Are you okay?” Clarke asked softly. “I’m _so_ sorry, Lex-”

“It’s my fault.” Lexa shook her head, kissing Clarke’s head.

“We are...not cut out for this.” Clarke sighed, shaking her head.

Lexa bit her lip, rising to slip on the shirt that was lying on the chair in the corner of the room.

“Should we just call it a night?” Clarke mumbled.

Lexa’s eyes, however, were glued to the lingerie she was wearing. “Um.” She mumbled senselessly. “No.”

“No?” Clarke repeated, dumbfounded. “Aren’t you sick of my crazy ideas?”

Lexa shrugged. “I’m having fun with my best friend.” She spoke, confidence seeping into her tone. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s a beautiful night.”

Clarke smiled, rolling her eyes playfully. “Just trying to get in my lingerie, huh?”

Lexa shook her head, holding Clarke’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, causing her to look up into Lexa’s eyes. “I just like your smile.” She admitted cheesily, Clarke’s arms wrapping around her midsection, hugging her tightly.

“Okay, sap, so why’d you cover up just now?” Clarke queried.

“I know you have more in that goodie bag you got from your shopping trip with Octavia.” Lexa smirked. “So we fucked up dinner and blindfolds, but I’m willing to wager you’ve got one last thing up your sleeves, Griffin. Am I wrong?”

* * *

 

Clarke and Lexa sat on the floor beside their bed, giggling with their spare champagne bottle, courtesy of Lexa’s connections, the mood still flowing easily between them.

“Dirty dice?” Lexa repeated the name on the box Clarke had just returned with.

“As per Octavia’s recommendation.” Clarke replied.

Lexa made a face.

“What?” Clarke asked, sounding a little downcast. She’d thought Lexa was okay with experimenting.

“Nothing. I just...can’t imagine Lincoln doing this.” Lexa groaned.

Clarke smirked. “He’s an adorable puppy who does everything O wants and just acts tough. A little like someone I know.” She cupped Lexa’s cheeks, biting softly on Lexa’s pout.

“So...we just roll the dice and do what they say?”

“Why, Woods, you nervous?” Clarke smirked.

“No.” Lexa scoffed, slinging an arm around Clarke. “What are the options?”

“Well, on the first one, it's: Kiss, suck, squeeze, lick, ride, and nuzzle.” Clarke replied, wiggling her eyebrows at Lexa. “And the second is: lips, face, crotch, ears, neck, and feet.”

“Okay.” Lexa purred in her ears. “I’ll take the hardship of rolling first.” She snatched the dice before Clarke could answer, tossing them onto the floor with a good shake.

_Nuzzle neck._

“...That’s a bit unconventional.” Lexa muttered as she turned to Clarke, softly nosing her neck. “Are you wet yet?”

“Shut up.” Clarke snorted with laughter. “Okay, it’s my turn.”

She lifted the dice, and gave them a good shake, watching them land.

_Kiss ears._

Clarke chuckled. “Not the dirtiest, but I appreciate it. I think you have the cutest ears.” She leaned forward, gently pressing her lips to Lexa’s ear.

“I love you.” Clarke whispered, earning a soft smile from her girlfriend.

“I love you too.” Lexa murmured, taking the dice. “Okay, now it _has_ to be dirty.”

She let Clarke kiss them before throwing them down gently.

_Lick face._

“Uh.” Clarke blinked.

“I’m not a dog.” Lexa protested.

“...Yeah I’d rather you didn’t.” Clarke grumbled. “Well...throw it again.”

_Suck feet._

“Hah.” Clarke laughed awkwardly. “That’s, uh...That’s not our thing.”

“Yeah.” Lexa mumbled hurriedly, throwing the dice again.

_Ride feet._

“Another foot one?” Clarke groaned. “Why are feet even on the dice?”

“Some people must like it.” Lexa shrugged, grimacing.

“Well...I don’t think that’s us so keep rolling.” Clarke mumbled hurriedly.

“Okay. Why don’t you do it? I’m cursed.”

“Fine, sure.” Clarke took the dice, sucking in a breath. “Please show me why I bought you.” Clarke murmured under her breath.

_Lick feet._

“Goddamit!” Clarke snarled. “Isn’t that a statistical improbability?”

“It _really_ wants us to acknowledge each other’s feet.” Lexa mumbled.

“No, Octavia and Lincoln get the best ones!”

“How do you know?” Lexa asked curiously.

“Girl talk.” Clarke waved her off. “Come on! Give me _anything!_ Give me kiss lips, or lick crotch, or ride face. Please.”

Lexa couldn’t figure Clarke out. She was trying to understand why Clarke would buy dice to fulfill sexual desires that she could just...ask Lexa for.

“Clarke?”

_Suck ears._

“Not now, Lex.”

_Lick lips._

“Clarke.”

_Nuzzle lips._

“Lexa, can’t you see I’m busy?”

_Ride ears._

“Clarke.”

“What?” Clarke paused, realizing she’d just snapped at Lexa. “I…” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry. This is...one more time.”

“What?”

“One more time.” Clarke sighed, giving Lexa a weak smile. “Maybe it’ll be like in the movies, you know? The last time, right before they’re about to give up...a miracle happens, and saves their relationship.”

Lexa snorted. “Our relationship isn’t at stake, Clarke.”

“My sanity is.” Clarke gritted out. “One. Last. Time.”

Lexa grinned, finding Clarke’s scowl to be adorable. “Okay. Let’s see it, then.”

Clarke shot her a wink and a smile, tossing the dice with flair.

_Ride neck._

“That could fucking kill you.” Clarke whispered in awe of the stupidity of the creators.

“You know what?” Lexa was beyond frustrated...and it was actually kind of hot. She stood up, extending her hands to Clarke as she helped her up as well.

“Lexa? What are you doing?” Clarke asked unsurely.

“I’m doing this night some justice.” Lexa grumbled, moving to the bedroom window. She lifted it open, and with her quarterback strength and precision, hurled the dice out onto the street below.

* * *

 

Murphy was having an objectively good day.

Scratch that, an _amazing_ day. Emori had made the trip over to Polis to spend Valentine’s together, an entirely commercial holiday that Murphy usually despised but was willing to tolerate if it meant he could spend the day skiving class with his favorite person in the world. Woods and Griffin were good company, sure, but they would never live up to the connection he had with Emori.

He knew, of course, that this meant that something was _bound_ to happen to interrupt his brief little moment of paradise, in accordance to Murphy’s Law― _oh, the cruel irony to share a name with one of the most pessimistic laws in existence_ ―simply put, that if there was a chance for something to go wrong, it would, sooner or later.

A pessimistic law to match a pessimistic person.

He stole a sideward glance at Emori, though, glowing with the familiar aura of comfort and familiarity that she always did, smile bright and eyes mischievous in the best way, her hand intertwined with his, the girl applying soft pressure every now and then as though to reassure him, _I’m here, I’m not going anywhere_.

“We’re taking a moonlit walk,” Murphy chuckled, voice soaked in a fondness that was reserved only for Emori, “we’ve become such a cliché, this seems more Woods and Griffin’s sort of thing.”

“Entirely too domestic,” Emori agreed seriously, eyes shining with mirth, “best hope we don’t get _too_ gross or you’ll be calling me disgustingly sweet nicknames like _sunshine_.”

“Can’t have that,” Murphy laughed, but the ease of his step and adoration in his eyes betrayed his true thoughts on the situation. Ever the poet―though he’d be caught dead before admitting it―he took the time to trace the gentle slope of Emori’s face, basked in moonlight, the crinkle at her eyes and the wide, beaming smile fixed on his face.

Maybe he could afford being optimistic every once in awhile.

“Oh speak of the devil,” Murphy commented after the lapse in their conversation to comfortable silence, “that’s their appartment.”

Almost as if on cue, there was an almost exasperated yell― _that certainly doesn’t sound like conventional Valentine’s fun unless Woods is getting really dicey―_ and a few moments later, Murphy yelped as two very small, very hard projectiles came to a crashing halt on his forehead.

“ _What the fuck!?”_ he hissed, hand flying to his already inflamed and sore-to-the-touch forehead. Emori stifled a laugh with her hands and bent down to retrieve the aforementioned projectiles while Murphy nursed his wounds.  

Getting hit with anything in the head would hurt, even more so when the point of release―forceful release, too, not just dropping them lazily because _of course_ Woods wouldn’t want to do _anything_ in halves, not even throwing something out of the window with her _stupid goddamn alpha sports-fueled tendencies and somewhat ridiculous upper body strength_ ―was from several stories above the ground.

Suddenly, the sound of Clarke and Lexa’s unmistakable, combined moans filled the air, even out to the street where Emori and Murphy stood. “Looks like they’re having fun,” Emori laughed while Murphy glared in the general vicinity of Clarke and Lexa’s window, muttering curses under his breath about _dangerous lesbian and her bisexual demon of a girlfriend not having any concern for the poor innocent passersby who could have been hurt by their failed attempts to be really gay_. She held up her prize, a pair of unassuming dice (at least it wasn’t a giraffe figurine god forbid) with a wide grin.

“ _Nuzzle feet?_ ” Murphy echoed, reading the dice loudly in an attempt to keep himself from hearing the increasingly obnoxious moans now sounding from the apartment. “The fuck?”

“Dirty dice gone wrong,” Emori laughed, and Murphy scowled.

“I’m never going to let them live this down,” he swore, moving the dice around in his hand as he and Emori picked up their pace to escape the sounds of their two friends’ Valentine’s Day sex. “I’m going to tell this story to their grandchildren.”

“Poor baby,” Emori teased, but when Murphy whined about his head hurting she loyally pressed a soft kiss to the inflamed skin.

“I hate them,” he declared once they were out of range, “so much.”

“You can just embarrass them tomorrow.”

“Publicly and I will take great pleasure in doing so.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

* * *

 

Lexa turned to Clarke with a fiery look in her green eyes, as if her calm forests were set ablaze. Her jaw tightened, the way that drove Clarke crazy, and she lifted her shirt, tossing it to the floor. She licked her lips, pinning Clarke to the bed in one move, hovering over her, Clarke’s arms pinned above her head.

Clarke instinctively wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist, eyes widened, mouth open in surprise. “Lex?”

“Clarke.” Lexa whispered. “You and I have spent every moment of tonight together, and that’s what makes it beautiful and romantic.” She began. “Your effort is amazing, and I adore how hard you try. However, as amazing as it was, I’d like to spend every minute of every hour until sunrise making love to each other, and then I’d like to skip school and take you to an outrageously expensive brunch.” She nuzzled Clarke’s neck gently, affectionately, and dammit, this time it felt right.

Clarke was grinning, freeing her arms to pull Lexa down to her lips, giving her a hot, wet kiss, all the caged desire within her that evening, pouring out into a single, dirty kiss.

They broke apart, Lexa moving to straddle Clarke, dropping her core against Clarke’s abdomen, grinding slowly and enticingly, putting on a show for Clarke, who was already drooling at the goddess that was her girlfriend, somehow.

“Y’know.” Lexa murmured as she ground down against Clarke’s stomach, fingers running along the lacy edges of Clarke’s lingerie. “I think those... _activities_ are for couples who don’t just get wet by looking at each other.” She admitted cockily. “You don’t seem to have that issue, Griffin.” To illustrate her point, she swiped at the front of Clarke’s panties, feeling the dampness of her evidence.

Clarke, on the other hand, was already in her own little slice of the world, the slice occupied by the sight of Lexa, grinding atop her, pert breasts begging for attention. And Clarke was nothing if not a gentlewoman.

“You are gorgeous.” Clarke muttered breathlessly, and despite Lexa’s arrogant demeanor, she blushed, hard. “...I was….kinda thinking about this in class.” She groaned, pinching and rolling, drawing obscene whines from Lexa.

“What? Me grinding on you?” Lexa asked in a sultry tone.

“No, actually.” Clarke mumbled, hands trailing down Lexa’s sides, stopping only when they fell upon the firm, round perfection that was Lexa’s rear. “Your ass.”

Lexa groaned, falling face first into Clarke’s neck as she lifted her ass, grinding helplessly against Clarke, the fabric of her panties deliciously getting caught against her.

“I love your ass.” Clarke whispered, usually not the vocally dominant one in bed. It was a nice change of pace for either girl. “I love your abs.” She continued, feeling hints of Lexa’s muscled abdomen dragging across her skin. “I love your boobs. I love everything about you, Alexandria Anastasia Woods. You are perfection.” Clarke whispered, hands groping Lexa’s ass, kneading softly, slapping, and working her up. “So sexy.”

Lexa, rolling her hips and selfishly basking in Clarke’s compliments, moaned uncontrollably, a sure signal that she was ready for more. Clarke kept one hand on Lexa’s ass, the other slipping under her, hooking on her panties. “You want these off?” Clarke asked, voice ever so husky and filled with need.

Lexa nodded eagerly.

“What was that?” Clarke grinned devilishly, instead, yanking them upwards against Lexa’s soaked folds.

“ _CLARKE.”_ Lexa’s moan was more of a little scream, and Clarke smirked.

“Sorry, _Commander.”_ Clarke chuckled deeply, so entirely caught up in the assault of her senses that was Lexa. Lexa smelled like sweet perfume. She felt light, lithe and muscular all at once, she was graceful and needy, commanding yet soft.

Clarke loved every inch of her. She wanted to show Lexa.

Carefully, she peeled back the panties, which were about as good as dead. She got them as far as Lexa’s ankles, and they were kicked off a little less gracefully than she imagined.

“Please, Clarke.” Lexa whined, nuzzling further into the space of Clarke’s neck.

Clarke loved that Lexa could feel so vulnerable with her, sometimes, as opposed to having only one, dominant setting in the bedroom. It reminded her about the equality in their relationship, and it made her fall even deeper into love with Lexa. “Please _fuck me.”_

 _“See?”_ Lexa would have thought, if she weren’t currently incoherent, with Clarke’s fingers pumping in and out of her slowly, torturously, drawing her out to clench around Clarke in a vice-like grip. “ _I don’t need dice to verbalize that I want to be fucked.”_

Clarke, being a thoughtful girlfriend, kept her other hand free as she quickened her pumping to the sound of Lexa’s moans picking up, curling her fingers slightly, while her other hand squeezed the plump, firm cheek of Lexa’s ass.

“You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” Clarke growled, using a nickname she’d often attributed to Lexa in much softer, calmer environments. The effect was nearly instant.

Lexa was coming, crashing down as she buried herself into Clarke, breathing heavy for her athletic stamina, her whole body vibrating as Clarke refused to slow down at first, helping her ride it out.

“You’re even gorgeous when you come.” Clarke whispered, eyes lidded, mouth open, watching her girlfriend spill onto her fingers, coated in her pleasure.

Lexa’s response was to lean back, wobbly at first, guiding Clarke’s hand from where it was within her. She pulled out Clarke’s digits, wordlessly guiding them to Clarke’s mouth, and she pushed them inside, Clarke obediently sucking on them with fervor,

 _“Now_ look who’s the good girl.” Lexa grinned ferally, eyes undressing the lingerie off Clarke. “Get up, and strip for me, Clarke.” She ordered in her _Commander_ tone, reserved especially for the bedroom. She leaned back on the pillows. “Put on a show for me.”

Clarke bit her lip, heat pulsing between her legs.

Oh, god, she was _so_ hopelessly attracted to Lexa.

She figured that, by now, she’d have built _some_ resistance to her.

No, no she hadn’t.

Clarke stood, rising off the bed, bending her ass towards Lexa as she bent over, feeling possessive hands immediately squeeze at her.

“Bra, first.” Lexa commanded. “Put yourself on display for me, _Klark.”_

Clarke’s legs were shaky as she stripped off her lacy bra, noting the way Lexa licked her lips, eyes becoming lidded once more with desire as they caught sight of Clarke’s full, round breasts.

“Beautiful.” Lexa spoke in a  lusty tone, savoring the electricity in the air between them. Clarke had little goosebumps lining her body as she awaited Lexa’s next set of orders, clearly very into the little game they were playing.

“Now, the panties and the garter. But…. _slowly.”_ Lexa gestured with her hand, the other one strewn across her six pack like some lazy greek goddess.

Clarke, with shaky fingers and an even shakier sense of desire, began to strip, slowly peeling away the lacy bits that covered her glistening folds, beyond ready for Lexa.

But no, Lexa wanted to play.

Lexa cracked in her facade momentarily, whispering, “I love you, Clarke. You’re the most beautiful woman on the planet.”

Clarke grinned, blushing heavily. It only increased her pull, her attraction, in that moment. “I love you too.” She whispered back, and Lexa grinned like a child.

Slowly, the moment melted away, and they were once again absorbed by the heat of their little dance.

“Play with yourself.” Lexa spoke, clearing her throat.

Clarke blinked, eyes slightly wide.

“Touch yourself.” Lexa clarified, as if she’d been misheard the first time. “Pleasure yourself. I want to watch.”

Clarke hadn’t really imagined the night going like _this,_ but as always, Lexa read her perfectly, and always seemed to know just what to do to turn her on past the brink of what was probably considered to be normal.

Clarke took a breath in, and slowly slipped her fingers between her thighs, already coated in her own slick. She brought two fingers to her glistening lips, and dragged them down against her clit, desperate to push in small circles already.

“How do you feel, Clarke?” Lexa asked teasingly. “Wet, for me?”

“Yes.” Clarke moaned unabashedly.

“Yeah?” Lexa cooed. “What do you want, love?”

“I want you to fuck me.” Clarke replied messily, knowing full well that she’d get her relief faster if she jumped right in.

“How badly?”

“Badly.” Clarke whined. “Deeply. With your long fingers. Please, Lex…”

Lexa chuckled, sitting up on the edge of the bed, coming no closer. “My fingers? Are you sure?”

“I…” Clarke stuttered.

“I went on a little shopping trip of my own.” Lexa jerked her head towards the drawer behind Clarke. “Open the middle drawer, baby.”

Clarke turned, and god, _moving_ was even painful like this, all swollen and dripping and ready. She opened the drawer, gasping at what she found.

“A _strap-on?”_ She wanted to ask, but it came out as a needy, very excited whine.

“Only _I_ get to use it on you.” Lexa clarified in a growl.

Clarke knew it was just an act, Lexa would never think to dictate her sexual desires like that, but god, it was a sexy act. Clarke nodded, bringing it over to Lexa, who rose to cup her cheeks, planting a wet kiss on her lips. “You ready, Clarke?”

Clarke nodded, handing the strap-on to Lexa with a look of excitement.

Lexa halted Clarke from sprawling onto the bed. “Wait, baby.” She paused, cupping Clarke’s cheek. “You need a safeword if things go too fast?”

“Colors. Red, yellow…” Clarke reminded Lexa of her preferred system. Clarke rarely ever needed to use any safe words with Lexa because the sex they had was never quite in need of one. However, the color system was always in place, just in case.

“Okay.” Lexa nodded, dropping a kiss to Clarke’s shoulder. “Lay down.” She instructed.

Clarke did as she asked, laying on the bed.

“Spread yourself for me.” Lexa commanded, tone dripping with need.

Clarke gasped slightly as she spread her legs, and she felt Lexa’s long, glorious fingers dipping through her silken heat. Lexa got onto her knees beside Clarke, other fingers swirling a pattern up her stomach, stopping to grope and squeeze at each breast, rolling and pinching Clarke’s nipples until the blonde was a moaning mess beneath her.

“Lex, please fuck me.” Clarke grit out.

“I will.” Lexa replied calmly, arrogantly, latching onto Clarke’s breast with a devilish mouth. “I said I would ravish you, and I am.”

Clarke’s body twitched with need as Lexa sucked and lapped at her, and Lexa was entirely surprised to feel Clarke shake beneath her, moaning out Lexa’s name as her body writhed, her eyes shut, and her mouth opened.

“Did you just…” Lexa grinned against her breast, absolutely smug with herself.

“You took too long.” Clarke growled, her needy cunt angrily clenching on nothing at all.

Lexa smirked, placing another kiss to Clarke’s breast. “Plenty more where that came from, Clarke.”

Clarke’s body involuntarily molded into her girlfriend’s, even as she muttered, “smug bastard.”

“I do this because I love you.” Lexa announced as she pressed her palm down into Clarke’s sopping heat, drawing a cry out from Clarke. She gripped the strap-on, smirking as she drew it over Clarke’s clit, teasing her with it.  Lexa leaned back and stepped into the harness, fastening it quickly, having became an expert after that fateful prom night.

“Fuck me, Lexa, or I’ll- OH.” Clarke’s head hit the pillow as Lexa pushed the length of the head of the cock into Clarke’s dripping entrance, careful not to move too quickly.

“How does that feel?” Lexa asked carefully, rubbing calming circles on Clarke’s hips.

“Amazing.” Clarke groaned appreciatively.

And, frankly, the mental image of Lexa leaning into her, jogging those hips wasn’t hurting, either.

“Good.” Lexa nodded her approval, one of Clarke’s legs around her, the other pressed up against Lexa’s shoulder, Lexa’s arms moving to wrap around it as she pushed herself forwards, slowly bottoming out within Clarke, feeling a familiar tingling sensation against her own clit.

“ _Fuck.”_ Clarke whined, gripping the sheets.

“I’m going to fuck you.” Lexa groaned, rutting her hips forward, easily slipping in and out of Clarke. She kept Clarke’s leg anchored against her with one hand, and used the other to rub circles on Clarke’s clit, sending her girlfriend to heaven in an instant.

“Lexa, fuck, it’s so deep. You’re so deep.” Clarke panted as Lexa jogged her hips, finding a good rhythm.

Lexa was mesmerized, watching the way Clarke’s breasts jiggled and swayed as she rutted, her mouth watering at the sight. Slowly, she lowered Clarke’s leg around her, leaning forward, strong arms gripping the sheets on either side of Clarke as she hovered over her, getting deeper with each rhythmic rut of her hips.

Clarke was entranced by Lexa’s muscular arms, her rock hard abs clenching as she thrust forward into Clarke, steadily gaining speed and intensity.

“You like that, Clarke? You like when I fuck you?” Lexa growled, lowering herself to Clarke’s ear. “Such a good girl, taking all of me like that.”

Clarke jerked her hips up at Lexa’s praise, her hips rolling up to meet Lexa’s length, to grind against her.

Lexa loved the power, the momentum, the idea of _taking_ Clarke.

Clarke loved the vulnerability, the pleasure, being _taken_ by her girlfriend.

Lexa continued to pound into her, humping Clarke and rolling her hips to meet Clarke’s deepest spot, before pulling back and repeating.

“Lex!” Clarke cried out with reckless abandon. “I...I’m coming, please don’t stop, please-”

Lexa’s voice was breathy and gritty. “Come for me, Clarke.”

She knew just where to angle herself to brush the sensitive part of Clarke’s front wall, and after three or four heavy thrusts, Clarke was coming undone, the vision sending Lexa tumbling along with her.

Clarke’s walls fluttered as she took in the member, gripping it tightly as Lexa buried her face into Clarke’s neck, rutting slowly, working herself, and Clarke, out of their trance.

“God, that was fucking good.” Clarke groaned, hugging Lexa tightly against her, thanking her silently for her efforts.

“No dice needed.” Lexa groaned, resting comfortably in the warmth of Clarke’s arms.

* * *

 Clarke and Lexa weren’t dressed and ready to go until nearly one o’clock the following afternoon. Okay, sure, so maybe they indulged themselves in a few extra rounds. On top of the all-nighter they pulled. Not studying.

The girls were exhausted, but blissfully so. They made their way out of the door, Clarke wrapped up in Lexa’s arms, giggling at something Lexa said, with the brunette’s lips kissing her neck as she moved to lock the door.

Suffice it to say they were both startled when they turned around to encounter Murphy’s figure, standing before them, hurling dice at Lexa, who caught them with lightning fast reflexes.

The girls looked disastrous. Disheveled. Bruised. Battered. Hickeys absolutely everywhere. They looked at Murphy with wide, questioning eyes.

“You dropped those.” He muttered. “On my head.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can keep up with us @clexa-hsau on tumblr, myself @effortlessly-opulent on tumblr, and Sam @danaryas on tumblr as well.


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